do you ever look at someone and think about how it would be to cuddle with them and then you get surprised that your brain thought of that and then you tell your brain to stop but the bitch just keeps the thought then you end up liking the person, then your fucked because you have a crush, because of one random thought
» That time in Starbucks...
I ordered a Vanilla Bean and told the person to put Voldemort as my name.
Employee: (dramatic gasp) We do not serve Dark Lord's here!
Me: If you don't want me to avada kedavra yo' ass, you'd better put that.
Employee: Please don't hurt me.
Employee: GRANDE VANILLA BEAN FOR HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED!
Random Customer: Justin Bieber?!
» When a friend suddenly remembers an embarrassing story about me :
in 7th grade, i sat in the first row behind this guy who once got so excited that we were watching a movie instead of doing work that he managed to hit his head against the wall and knock himself out for like 3 minutes and the only thing i could do was laugh while my teacher ran to get the nurse
one of my friends was trying to be all smooth so when she forgot the name of the guy she was flirting with, she asked him to tell her how to spell his name and he looked at her and said “it’s tim.”